Courageous

Joshua 1:6 “aBe strong and courageous, for you shall give this people possession of the land which I swore to their fathers to give them."  These were the Lord's instructions to Joshua upon the death of Moses.  It's probably a pretty cool experience to have God encourage you.  I wonder if Joshua had his doubts? I imagine that is why the Lord encouraged him to be strong and courageous.  I find myself in a similar place as Joshua these days.  There are things happening in our nation that make me nervous, afraid, and questioning where we are going as a nation.  However, In my spirit there is a quiet confidence saying "watch and see what I am about to do."  So what do I believe?  Are things going to get worse?  Are we being set up for Jesus to come back and rescue us from this evil world we live in?  

Those questions actually seem very foreign to me.  I refuse to believe a theology that lacks courage and embraces anything less than redemption.  I believe that now, more than ever, we must know the heart of Daddy God.  We must know that He is for us.  That He went to great extremes to demonstrate this to us.  In Romans it tells us that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  He's not intimidated by our depravity.  In fact, our depravity ushered in the greatest redemption of all time.  His heart is for the world to know that He loves them (see John 3:16).  I choose to believe that He desires for all men to come to repentance.  I choose to believe that He desires for all men to be healed, saved and delivered.  I choose to believe that we win.  Not that we will be snatched away at the last minute, to keep us from destruction.  This isn't the old covenant.  This is a new covenant, in which the price for sin has been paid and the grace of God is available to everyone.  This grace enables us to be victorious.  It enables us to live in freedom.  It frees us to be who we really are.  So whatever you believe about where we are at in the grand scheme of things, I encourage you to live with conviction.  Live with the attitude that our choices affect the atmosphere around us.  That who God has made us reveals His glory and that glory will transform nations.  Transformed people, transform nations.  Be strong and courageous for He will give us the nations and of the increase of His government there will be no end...

That's the view from here... 

Building Community

Recently our church adopted an “easy to remember” mission statement.  We decided that there were three main themes that fit the direction of our church; God Encounters, Authentic Community and Culture Shift.  Everything we do really does fit into these three categories.  However, as a leader, I am never satisfied with a well crafted mission/vision statement.  I want to see it lived out.  I want to know that our efforts really do exemplify what we have put down on paper.  With that said, building an authentic community can mean so many different things to different people.  I love the idea.  I love the concept but what does it look like?  In my opinion community involves three elements; Giving, Receiving and Being.  

Giving is an important part of any community.  I’m not necessarily talking about money but time, resources and abilities.  You can’t be an effective part of a community if you aren’t willing to give of yourself.  If a person simply takes, and does not give, they only seek to benefit from the community rather than becoming a part of it.  Giving is important, not just as a way to bless others, but also in building confidence as a contributor.  Your contribution, no matter how small, is an important part of the community you belong to.  It enables you to operate in your gift and others to benefit from that gift.  

Receiving is also an important part of community.  Everyone has needs.  Some of the basic needs affecting everyone is food, clothing, shelter.  We also need acceptance and love.  In an authentic community I need to be able to receive as well as give.  Self sufficiency is what we all strive for but the truth is we all have times in our lives when we need help.  If we are too proud to receive help we cut of the flow of life that comes from being part of a community.  Receiving allows you to benefit from other’s gifts in the community.  

Being is the third, but in my opinion no less important, part of community.  In order to be an authentic or “real” community, we have to be able to be ourselves.  We need the freedom to be successful and to fail.  There are times when people don’t live up to our expectations.  There are times when we don’t live up to other’s expectations.  That happens everyday.  The depth of our relationships cannot be defined by focussing on where other’s have failed us.  Community is built on honesty and trust.  Honesty is part of creating a culture of honor.  When we are able to be honest about our failures as well as our successes.  If you don’t have the ability to fail then you create a pseudo-community where no one can be real.  Relationships are built on what is expected instead of what is.  Most people will receive instruction/correction if they don’t feel they are being judged.  In an authentic community, the goal is to help connect people with the freedom that comes from living in the truth.  Trust is built as we learn to be honest with one another about both what we have done well and where we have failed.  This will enable us to extend grace to each other in our interactions.  If you are a great servant then be great at what you do. Don’t judge others because they don’t serve like you do.  Honor their gift.  What do they bring to the community that you appreciate?  If we judge people based on what we value, we remove the diversity that makes community so beautiful.  Do what you do well and allow others to do what they do well.  I believe that as we practice this we will build the authentic community that we are looking for.

That’s the view from here…

Confidence

"You're just a sinner saved by grace!" "you'd be nothing if it wasn't for Jesus." "Praise the Lord that he can save a wretch like me!"  These are some of the sayings I grew up hearing in church.  I understand that these statements are generally meant to promote how much we need God.  It was pretty much the norm in the circles I grew up in.  Any positive statement related to yourself was a form of pride and took away from the goodness of God.  We were treating God like He was insecure about His greatness, as though our achievements might in any way threaten Him.  This still affects me, to some degree, because even as I wrote that last sentence I had to back space a few times as I wrote the word "him" without capitals.  After all, how would you know I was talking about "Him" unless I capitalized it.  While we were so concerned with making sure that we weren't sharing in God's glory we inadvertently treated Him like His ego was fragile.

So what's the big deal?  Well, for starters, God is very secure. He isn't threatened by anyone doing anything great around Him.  He created us for Glory after all.  2 Corinthians 3:18 says that we all with unveiled face beholding, as in a mirror, the glory of the Lord are being changed from glory to glory.  If we didn't have glory we couldn't be changed from glory to glory.  If we think that honoring Him comes from downgrading ourselves then we place sole importance on what God has done for us and not on what He has accomplished in us.  The good news of the gospel is not only that Jesus has taken away my sin but also that He has awakened my spirit.  He has made me a new creation and the old things have passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17).  When I focus on how much of a failure I am, I simply perpetuate my failures.  Whatever you believe, you'll reproduce.  In my experience, I have accomplished more by believing what God has done in me, rather than groveling in my unworthiness.  It is my belief that we need to walk in confidence as believers.  Confidence is not a bad thing, in fact, the Bible exhorts us to confidence (Hebrews 10:35).  It tells us not to throw away our confidence which has great reward.

Why are we so afraid of confidence?  I think it's because we confuse confidence with pride.  Pride does lead to destruction.  Pride is all about self-promotion.  When I'm operating in pride it's all about me and what I can do; everything points back to me.  When I'm operating in confidence I am confident in who God has made me.  The glory goes to Him as I use the gifts He has invested in me.  I'm under no illusions of grandeur because I know where the greatness comes from.  I believe confidence is necessary in the Christian life.  I believe God intended us to be confident in the work he is accomplishing in us.  He is completing the work He began in you (Phil 1:6).  We can access the throne of Grace with boldness, Hebrews tells us.  "But what do I do about the sin in my life?" Sin is an archery term, meaning to miss the mark.  When you are an archer and you constantly miss the mark, I would think that has some negative affect on your confidence.  When we focus on our unworthiness we lack confidence and actually create what we are trying to stop.  Walk in confidence.  Believe what God has done in you.  As you do this, I believe sin will become less and less of a focus in your life.

We are seated with Christ in Heavenly places.  He has given us the role of ambassadors of reconciliation.  We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.  All these truths, in my opinion, point to one thing...we need to live in confidence.

3 Ways To Communicate More Effectively

Communication in American Culture is an art form.  We have certain cultural practices that are, quite frankly, bizarre when you think about it.  Take for example the simple question "how are you doing?", most often the response to that question is "good".  We aren't really prepared for any other answer.  Usually we are asking the question as we walk by someone.  It's kind of funny when you think about it.  I often wonder how we would respond if someone said "terrible", we would just keep walking by, most likely.  Sarcasm is another tool we like to use.  It's saying the opposite of what you really mean to say, sometimes with a humorous twist.  It's a wonder how we are able to communicate effectively with one another at all.  We don't really mean what we say or say what we mean.  I once read a book, the title of which escapes me at the moment, in which there was one chapter title that spoke to me more than the book did.  The chapter title was "Communicate Purpose and Meaning".  Those four words turned a light on inside of me.  I realized that my communication needed some work.  It made me realize that sometimes people may not understand what I mean by what I say.  Here are three tools that, I have found, will help you become a better communicator.

1.) Get Understanding.  Solomon, in the book of Proverbs, encourages us many times to get understanding.  I believe this is the first step in becoming a better communicator.  Learn how to listen.  You already know what you think.  Try listening to hear what the other person's perspective is.  Be very suspicious of your ability to read other people's minds.  When you listen to their perspective you may gain insight into the way they think and why they think the way they do.  I can't tell you how many times I have gone into a meeting with a preconceived idea and come out of the meeting thinking completely differently about a situation because I've heard the other person's perspective.  Listening also helps to build trust with people.  The saying "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." fits very well with this concept of getting understanding.  If I could sum it up in a sentence I would say "seek first to understand, then be understood."  We often have those things reversed.

2.) Communicate Purpose. This is where you get to communicate your understanding.  You get to share your perspective.  This is the "why" of communication.  You get to share what your perspective is, which helps people understand where you are coming from.  There have been times when I am meeting with someone that I don't really know what we are talking about until about half way through the meeting.  Sometimes in confrontational situations we beat around the bush, so as to not hurt the other person's feelings, the result is that we create more damage because the other person doesn't know what we are talking about.  Trust me, i've been there many times.  This is where we have the opportunity to give understanding.

3.) Communicate Meaning.  Communicate what you mean by what you say.  Be clear in your communication.  Make sure the other person knows what you mean, don't assume that they do.  I have to give a little disclaimer here.  There have been times that I have been very clear in my communication and the person still was offended.  In this case, there really isn't anything you can do.  You have done what you need to do.  You have owned your communication.  In those cases the person would probably be offended no matter what you say.  They have forgotten to practice the number 1 rule of communication, to get understanding.  Be an active communicator, which means that you both actively listen and communicate.  Give and receive feedback.  You can ask questions like "do you need further understanding?", "do you have any questions about what I've said?".  This helps the other person to communicate what they have misunderstood in your conversation.  Remember the goal is understanding.

That's the view from here...

I'm still learning how to be a more effective communicator every day, but these are tools that have worked for me.  I'd love to hear what has worked for you.  What tools do you use in communicating with others?

Marked By Love

After going through one of the most difficult seasons of my life, I find myself struggling to articulate everything that I learned in that season.  I think it's because, truthfully, I don't really want to feel the way that I did during that time.  My wife of 15 years went through a horrible battle with anxiety and depression.  I felt like I had lost the love of my life.  My best friend had checked out on me and it didn't seem like she cared to come back.  As you can imagine, I struggled with all kinds of feelings.  I felt scared, rejected, discouraged, disappointed, angry, sad, frustrated and any other exasperating adjective you can think of.  I wasn't prepared for this.  My first reaction was to feel sorry for myself.  I didn't create this situation, why was this happening to me?  Why wasn't she taking responsibility  for her feelings?  Doesn't she realize that my happiness is tied to hers?  Doesn't she remember her responsibilities as a wife, more importantly as a mother?  As you can see I was very understanding.  I think at one point, as we were traveling to see someone we thought might be able to help, I called her a wuss for not being able to just "get over it".  I thought about leaving.  If she was going to reject me, then I might as well move on and find someone else.  Someone who will value me.  It sounded logical.  I don't think anyone in my life would blame me.  However, one day while wallowing in my sorrow i heard these questions in my spirit...do you love her?  Did you make a covenant of love with this woman?  What did you commit to?  Without hesitation in my spirit I heard myself saying...in sickness and in health, till death do us part.  What flooded my soul is hard to describe at this point.  It was a mixture of deep love, unbridled conviction and an unparalleled desire to prove myself.  All of a sudden, this situation wasn't about what I was missing it became about how I could become a contributor to my family.  I wasn't feeling sorry for myself, i was feeling empowered to control what I could control in my life.

To say that I changed would be an understatement.  It's kind of like saying the Titanic sort of tipped over when it hit the iceberg.  I became a completely different person.  I knew that I had to in order to survive.  I became a better Dad, I became a better house cleaner, cook, laundry guy, and any other tasks that needed to be done around the house.  I began to focus on how I could serve my family.  I did things I never thought I could do.  Everything I did was to help make things easier for my family.  When it came to my wife, I realized that there was nothing she could do about her feelings.  I just focused on making her life as easy as I possibly could.  Essentially, I became a caregiver.  Taking care of her became my number one priority in life.  I probably looked pretty flaky to the people around me.  I cancelled appointments, road trips, conferences, hanging out with friends, I even missed my own sister's wedding.  All because my job was to create a safe environment for my wife.    Instead of wanting to leave her, I found myself falling more deeply in love with her everyday.  I found myself agonizing over her well being.  When I went to work i thought about how she was doing pretty much every minute of the day.  I found it difficult to concentrate on my work.  I'm not sure how well I did at my job, I think I just floated through for several years.  So what the heck happened to me?  Here's the part that is hard for me to describe.  The best way to put it would be  that I gave up.  I gave up trying to control a situation that was completely out of my control.

What happened in me was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had my life.   I became marked by love.  When I gave up trying to fix my situation, I experienced the grace of God on a level that I've never tangibly experienced in my life.  Even though I had times of sheer exhaustion, for the most part I had the energy to take on the task of being a single parent.  My wife was there but she was disengaged.  I did what I could to nurture my kids.  To play the dual role of mother and father to them.  My love increased so much for them, I had never been closer to them.  When I wasn't focussed on caring for my wife, all of my attention was on my kids.  I wanted to make their life as normal as it possibly could.  The effect inside of me was a deep love and devotion for my family.  Everything I did was focused on them.  I loved them so much, nothing else and no one else really mattered.  It wasn't that I didn't care about people, it was just that what they thought of me or what we were going through didn't really matter.  I had learned, by focusing on what I could control, that the only thing that mattered was being all that I could be for my family.  Something miraculous began to happen, not only did i begin to experience the love of God on a new level, I began to see my wife slowly be healed.  Sure, she had meds to help control her anxiety but those meds never solved the problem, they just helped her cope.  She was getting healed.  Her confidence was slowly coming back, our connection was growing more each day.  No longer did she want to check out of life, she wanted to experience it on a level she had never experienced before.  She began to discover new things about herself, to give herself permission to be happy.  She wasn't being obsessively introspective anymore.  She was discovering who she was all over again.  So what had changed?  I knew that the change in me had helped to take pressure off of her.  I knew that I had helped to create a safe environment where she didn't have to perform for me to love her.  I wasn't prepared for what the Lord shared with me next.  During a quiet moment it happened again.  A question in my spirit.  He said "Do you know why your wife is being healed?"  The question floored me, not because of what He was asking, because of the answer I was feeling in my spirit.  I literally sensed the answer.  He said "it's because of the Love that you have for your wife"  Even as I write this, it is difficult for me not to cry as I think about how I felt in that moment.  I have been marked by love. First, by the Love of an incredible Heavenly Father who never left me in my darkest hour, and second by a love for someone I have the privilege of spending my life with.  Love is so powerful it can heal the brokenhearted, it can pull people out of the darkest places.  It really is the greatest thing.

That's the view from here...

"I love Jesus but I hate the Church"

I've noticed lately that it has become fashionable, among Christians, to say "I love Jesus but I hate the church."  There are at times variations to this statement but they all carry the same sentiment.  I love Jesus, but I've been hurt by church.  I get it, I've been involved with the church for most of my life.  Since I was 7, in fact.  I've been a Southern Baptist, "regular" Baptist, Plymouth Brethren, Calvary Chapel, Pentecostal and I'm sure I've forgotten some.  Through these experiences I've discovered one thing; there is no church or denomination that has a corner on the market of truth.  This is something we should know since Jesus told us in John 14:6 that He is THE Truth.  Why are we trying to find truth in other places is my question?  Truth isn't a set of beliefs, it is belief in a Person; the Person of Jesus.

Beyond that I understand that "the statement" also speaks to people being hurt in churches.  I've experienced this.  I've been left out, overlooked, ignored and sometimes even shunned.  When we are hurt our natural defense is to protect ourselves.  Sometimes we run from the situation.  We don't announce that we're leaving, we just stop showing up.  We find others that will sympathize with our hurts.  We make others responsible for our pain.  Sometimes they are.  What should I do about that?  Anything that makes you feel powerless is a lie.  2 Timothy 1:7 says that we've not been given a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE, and A SOUND MIND.   Did you hear that?  You have been given a spirit of power.  Don't give your power away.  I give my power away when I allow hurt to control me, when I have a victim mentality, when i get offended.  I give my power away when I allow other's opinions of me to control me.  Let me say it again, DON'T GIVE AWAY YOUR POWER!  You are in control of you and only you.  You can't control others responses to you, but you can control how you will respond.  Notice I didn't say react.  Responding comes from a place of power; where you decide what you are going to do.  Reaction is just a defense mechanism in which we give other people way to much power over our lives.

I understand that we've all been hurt in church at one point or another.  Believe it or not, Pastor's get hurt too.  How do I know, well I am one.  I've had people make assumptions about me, analyze me, judge my family and the list goes on and on.  I'm not asking anyone to feel sorry for me, cause I signed up for this gig.  What I am saying is that there's enough hurt to go around.  However, if we say "I love Jesus, but I hate the church", what exactly am i saying?  Let's examine this for a minute.  I think most of us would agree that church isn't a building.  If there where no people in the building it really couldn't be called church.  The church is the people.  As Paul said, you are the letter known and read by all men (2 Corinthians 3:2)  In other words, you are the church!  When you criticize it, you criticize yourself.  What are we going to do about it?  How are we going to change? Some people's response has been to start their own church, or start a home church.  Well guess what, we've just started another church with the possibility that more people will get hurt.  Ok, well I just won't go to church.  That's an option, but Jesus worked it out so that we are much stronger together.  We know in part and prophesy in part (1 Corinthians 13) Don't stop meeting together (Hebrew 10:25).  At the core of our belief system is relationship.  John 17:3 says that eternal life is to know God and the one whom He sent (Jesus).  We should be experts in relationship.  We should learn to own our communication and be able to work through things together so that we can all grow from glory to glory.  What if we started working on our relationships?  What if we learned to communicate better with each other?  What if, instead of criticizing each other, we love each other enough to speak the truth in love.  I know that's probably impossible, but go figure we serve a God who is the God of the impossible.  He's given us a spirit of Love, Power, and a Sound mind.  Let's try it and see what happens.  Maybe we'll end up with a new statement..."I love Jesus by being the church"

That's the View From Here...

PS. I understand that there are some churches and leadership that do not want input.  There are Pastor's and Leaders who play defense when it comes to being questioned.  In those cases, you need to ask yourself if you are in the right place.  I've been taught to go to the church where I hear the voice of my father most clearly.  I feel like my first responsibility as a leader is to create an environment where they can encounter the Lord.  I understand that some people do not connect with what we do or how we do it and in those cases we strongly encourage people find a place they can call home.  Even if it means being part of a home group or home church.